Am I one of those?

If you really are, you would never ask yourself this question,
because -
you would be convinced that you aren't. 

I grew up into one without even realizing that that is what I had become.  I am so relieved that God in His great mercy and grace opened my eyes to who I was in His sight.  I will keep you in the dark just a little longer.

Today in our Bible study we were discussing the second half of John chapter one where Jesus begins to collect His disciples.  One of the ladies in our study read verse 42
". . . Jesus looked at him and said, 'Oh, You are Simon son of John.  You will be called Cephas'." 
The way she read it gave it more depth than I had ever heard.  I tried to illustrate how she said it by emphasizing the You.  How it sounded to my ears was as if Jesus already knew him and had been wondering what he would look like or when he was going to show up.  He continues by telling Peter who he would one day be.  I loved the idea that Jesus couldn't wait to meet the men that would become his best friends while He was on earth.

Then Jesus meets Nathanael -(important note) after Nathanael makes a snide comment to Philip vs. 46 "Nazareth!  Can anything good come from there?"  I don't want to write out the whole passage.  It is the end part of John 1.  I have always thought that Jesus was being facetious when He said, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."  Then Jesus goes on to tell Nathanael that He saw him under the fig tree before Philip called you.  Some in our group thought that Nathanael was having his quiet time there, but leave it to me to see the possibility of something completely opposite.  I thought Jesus was revealing Nathanael's sin - that whatever Nate was doing under that fig tree wasn't something "Kosher" - if you get my drift.  Now, don't get me wrong, John leaves the truth here unstated - vague.  This little secret is between Jesus and Nathanael, but his immediate response is "Rabbi, you are the Son of God;  You are the King of Israel." 

His response reminds me of another response given to Jesus by the woman at the well.  When Jesus tells her, "You are right when you say you have no husband.  The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.  What you have just said is quite true."  (I had never noticed that last sentence, do you see the humor of Jesus, can't you see the twinkle in His eye as he makes that last statement?  He has just made quite an accusation, but He softens it by agreeing that she has not told a lie.)

She hides her shock quite well, and replies, "Sir, I can see that you are a prophet," and then she proceeds to attempt to change the subject, but instead she has played right into His plan where He reveals Himself as the Messiah to not just a Samaratin, but to a woman, and not just any woman, but one who is clearly a sinner.  She is so shaken, she leaves water jar behind, and here is what she tells the town, "Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.  Could this be the Christ?" 

And then another interaction comes to mind.  The rich young ruler came to Jesus to proclaim his own holiness and that he does, but Jesus knows his heart and points directly to his sin - his money.  He loves his money more than he loves God.  Help me out here.  Is there any place in scripture where Jesus or God points to a person's righteousness rather than to their sin? 

OK, I've got one already, Job. 

God presents Job to Satan with this discription, "There is no one like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."  Wow!  How's that for a character reference. . . then God proceeds to allow Satan to tear up everything that Job holds dear and creates a true story that many years later continues to baffle us as readers and believers.  But in the very last chapter, what do we find?  42:1-6, Job confesses, repents to God that he really had no idea of how wonderful God is.  He repented of his own pride.  And God was pleased.  God turns around and blasts Jobs friends for all their rantings, and then tells them He will accept Job's prayers for his friends.  Repentance is what leads to Righteousness.  Irony is beautiful.  The only way I can be Righteous is by admitting I am Not. 

I contemplated other OT "saints" like Noah, Abraham, David, were any of them praised for their Righteousness.  Hmmm, maybe. . .  That train of thought led me to Hebrews and the "Hall of . . . Righteousness? . . . no, the hall of Faith which was counted as Righteousness.  Faith in their own Righteousness?  NO, Faith in God's perfect sacrifice that was yet to come, Faith in Jesus, whose Name was yet to be revealed.  Though there is a chapter break between 11 and 12, it was not written that way.  Hebrews 12:2 says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our Faith. . ."

So, my question is really, "Am I one of those?  Am I a legalist, a pharisee, a saved by works believer? or possibly "Am I a Nathanael?"  Like I said, if you are, you would be hard to convince that you aren't - Like Nicodemus who could hardly believe that Jesus was telling him that he needed to be saved.  Him - a Pharisee, a godly man, a follower of the law - needed to be saved - needed to believe in Jesus to get to heaven.  He needed to start all over from scratch. 

Nicodemus had built his own temple of good works.  Could he now abandon them and turn to Christ Alone for his salvation?  Could you turn from your weekly tithe, your Bible study time, your submissive role as a wife, your helping the fatherless and the widows, your contributions to missions or your own mission trips or even your life as a missionary.  Could you let all that "burn up" and not be "counted"?  Is Christ's righteousness enough for you?  Could you not do another "good work" for the rest of your life and be content to rest in Christ's goodness for you? 

I was accosted again by legalism last night and I literally burst into tears at the deceiptfulness that legalism is to be hiding itself right smack in the assumption of Salvation.  I long to reveal the lies that are so artfully crafted around seemingly Godly beliefs.  I agonize over people, friends that don't see it and fall head long into "another gospel" as Paul calls it. 

A little more than twenty years ago, I got on a plane to cross the country on my way to college.  I vividly remember at some point in the trip realizing that I had left all I knew and loved behind and that I was on that plane with only God.  I am ashamed to say, I was uncomfortable with even that idea.  Within the next month, that God, who was on that plane with me, revealed Himself to me through sermons from I John, and Matthew 7:21-23, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven. . . Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you.  Away from me, you evil-doers!'"

Up until that time, I had been a "Doer" - Jesus called it what it really was/is an "Evil - Doer."  It was sobering at the time and still sobers me today that but for the grace of God, I would have continued in my Doing.  Instead I had to humble myself, admit my sin and ask for His righteousness.  I then had to tell those around me, but even harder, I had to tell those at home that I had just been saved.  That all that they had seen and watched had not been because of my love for Christ, but rather my own working my way to heaven.  So, I ask you, I ask myself, "Could you walk away from it all, could you let it burn, could you never Do another thing to please God and be okay with it?" 

(As an aside, an argument with myself, if you will.  I am not talking about the "easy-believism" version of salvation at all.  That once you say the words and walk the aisle, you are a "Christian."  This would be the opposite type of "believer" to which I am referring.  I think I am starting to understand why James is sometimes so confusing.  "Show me your faith without your works and I will show you my faith by my works. . . . " James 2:14-26 speaks to this opposite type of "believer."  So, there are both extremes - those that lean on their works and have no faith and those that lean on their supposed faith, but their lack of works prove them false.)

So, with that being said, I give you one last Biblical illustration.  Solomon wisely determined the mother of the baby by offering to cut the baby in half and give part to each woman who claimed the baby.  The true mother could not bear the idea and gave up her claim to save the baby's life. 

So too, my question is a twist of reality. 

When I thought of it today - "Could I give up my works?"  My immediate thought was not of the loss of the works, but of the loss of the things that build my relationship with God.  Could I not go to church for the rest of my life?  That would be painful to not fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  It would be painful to not hear the Word preached or to sing and worship Him.  It would be painful to not have a Bible to read.  It would be painful to not speak of Him to others.  Indeed it would become a fire in my bones.  I could not hold it in.  (Jeremiah 20:9 But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in His name," His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.  I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.) 

Wow, it would be as if we were locked in a cell to live out our life holding onto only the Righteousness of Jesus - without the evidence of it - here comes the wow part.  That is what happened to John the Baptist. 

John himself said, "He must increase; I must decrease." But not long after "²When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples ³to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"  Matthew 11. 

John, in prison, sends a message to Jesus, "Are you really the Christ?" 

Can you fathom? 
The one who was sent to "prepare the way,"
the one who so boldly proclaimed "I have seen and I testify that this is the Son of God." 
The one who was linked with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit as testifiers that Jesus, the Man, was also Jesus, the Son of God, the Lamb of God.

⁴Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: ⁵The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor."  Matthew 11 
Oh, my, I have just gone back to the cross reference of where those words were in the Old Testament, and I am almost crushed with the beautiful words that surround the message that Jesus sent to John.  Isaiah 35:5  Jesus was telling John with words from Isaiah that He was fulfilling those words while John was locked in a dark dungeon.  Want to guess that maybe John also knew the words surrounding that verse?  Listen to the comfort of the words around Isaiah 35:5

1 The desert and the parched land will be glad;
   the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
   Like the crocus, 2 it will burst into bloom;
   it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
   The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
   the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
   they will see the glory of the LORD,
   the splendor of our God.

3 Strengthen the feeble hands,
   steady the knees that give way;

4 say to those with fearful hearts,
   "Be strong, do not fear;            
   your God will come,
   he will come with vengeance;
   with divine retribution
   he will come to save you."        
5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened  
    and the ears of the deaf unstopped.          

6 Then will the lame leap like a deer,             
   and the mute tongue shout for joy.              
   Water will gush forth in the wilderness
   and streams in the desert.

7 The burning sand will become a pool,
   the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
   In the haunts where jackals once lay,
   grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.

8 And a highway will be there;
   it will be called the Way of Holiness.
   The unclean will not journey on it;
   it will be for those who walk in that Way;
  wicked fools will not go about on it.

9 No lion will be there,
   nor will any ferocious beast get up on it;
   they will not be found there.
   But only the redeemed will walk there,

10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return.
    They will enter Zion with singing;
    everlasting joy will crown their heads.
    Gladness and joy will overtake them,
    and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Would those words not comfort you.  It makes me wonder if this were a passage that the young Jewish children learned.  Or if John and his second cousin Jesus learned it together as teen boys and if John was at the temple when the boy Jesus was teaching the Teachers.  Somehow John knew that Jesus was greater than he before it was revealed to him that Jesus was the Son of God, for he argued with Jesus that he shouldn't be baptizing Jesus but rather the other way around. 

Now, what do you think, seriously, I'd like to hear some feedback, do you think when Jesus greeted Nathanael with, "Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false."  Was Jesus refering to Nathanael's righteousness or his sin?  I have given my contemplations behind my thoughts, but I know I could be wrong.  I would love to hear your thoughts.